Spice it up!
by Little Red Beast
Summary: What happens when the Gudam Wing boys 'accidentally' enter a ****** club? Find out in here!
1. Default Chapter Title

  
Authors Note: Er... I broke my promise... that 'cards of 4bidden was suppose to be out by... like last month... but got writers' block... so chill! So... I wrote another fanfic... sorry people... I'll revise this sad excuse for a fan fiction... nothing new... too much homework... I PROMISE YOU... THIS FANFIC WILL BE MUCH BETTER... HOPEFULLY... Damn! I'm loosing my touch! Damn all those essays I've done about Thomas Jefferson! Damn it!  
  
Special thanks to 'Little Fire Demon'... you wussy dump ass... you were suppose to help me!   
  
I'm going to revise this later... only rough draft.... Eeeeeee... look at the time... got to go!!!!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhh! Another history paper! Damn it! See ya! Damn! Another book report?! This has been the 10th book report I done!!! Damn it!   
  
PLEASE Don't Enjoy this crap all right?  
  
  
PLEASE HAVE A SICK TWISTED MIND B4 READING...  
  
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Far, far away...  
Okay, not that far away...  
In the time of 196 AC  
The OZ Colonies now destroyed...  
Our five brave Gundam Wing boys...  
Walk down the street of... uh...............  
Well anyway...  
They have lost their occupation ever since it all ended...  
Now the adventure unfolds again, as our heroes' story continues...  
  
  
Narrator: The Gundam Wing boys were walking down the streets of... uh... damn! I can't think of a name... hold on... uh... Hensupika Street!   
  
Duo: I'm bored! I want to go somewhere!  
  
Trowa: And I wonder where that might be...  
  
Wufei: Yes, we know that Maxwell!  
  
Trowa: Ever since the war ended, we've lost our occupations... I'm practically getting sick and tired of getting my 'buns' burned by that annoying clown.  
  
Heero: Need help? ^Takes gun out and loads it with bullets^  
  
Trowa: ...  
  
Duo: Hey! You guys! Lets go that a party! You know that party where it would be fun!  
  
Trowa: The last party we went to was to a girl's birthday party. Heero killed nearly killed everyone in sight.  
  
Heero: I had a reason. We were dying in that pink room, and that the only solution I could of think of was killing that girl with that Barbie doll... reminds me of a guy in pink spandex...   
  
Quatre: I like pink spandex!  
  
Everyone suddenly takes a couple steps away from Quatre.  
  
Duo: What the hell?!  
  
Wufei: Injustice!  
  
Trowa: ...  
  
Heero: Omae O Korosu.  
  
Quatre: Guys, guys, guys! I was kidding... hehe ... I didn't mean that... hehe... why would anyone like pink... hehe ^_^;;  
  
Duo: Good... phew...   
  
Wufei: Injustice!  
  
Trowa: ...  
  
Quatre: ^hides in corner, takes pink spandex out and burns it with a match. Suddenly sprints back in position^  
  
Duo: Well... please! Can we go! I heard this party's going to be a blast!  
  
Everyone: ...  
  
Duo: ^grabs everyone by collar and starts walking^ Whether it's hell or not... I'm pulling you guys down with me... and Heero, put that gun down...  
  
****************************  
Gundam Wing boys... now at the party... opening the door...  
  
Wufei: This better be good Maxwell.  
  
Duo: ^Turns knob of door and goes in...^ It will, trust me. It'll be the best party we ever...  
  
Gundam Wing Boys: O_o  
  
The scene: A formal party gone wild... with drug use... clothes flying... and laundry... AKA: Strip club.  
  
Gundam Wing Boys: Ga......... ga... eh?????????????????   
  
Wufei: In.... in.... in... just... eee  
  
Quatre: eee ^covers hands with face^  
  
Duo: What the... eee... ooo... eee.... Hell?  
  
Trowa: ...  
  
Heero: unsure... mixed feelings... looks down... looks up... sees couple of girls dancing 'inappropriately'... looks down  
  
Wufei: MAXWELL!!!! WHAT THE HELL... DID YOU... eeeeee... where... where... is party??? MAXWELL THIS IS YOUR ENTIRE FAULT!!! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!!! Suddenly sees girl walk by... eeee...   
  
Gundam Wing boys: Run to door... Try to get out... but door is somehow cemented...^  
  
Wufei: Damn it! It's cemented! Damn it! We're stuck! This is... is...   
  
Duo: injustice?  
  
Duo: Well... we're stuck here... lets party!!!!  
  
Heero: Omae O Korosu...  
  
Trowa: Why don't we just find a way to get out, before I lose my virginity?  
  
Wufei: Injustice!  
  
Trowa: Now!   
  
Everyone splits apart... to find a way... to get out...   
  
Authors note: Introduction to Operation V... aka: Operation Get Out Strip Club Before Loose Virginity   
  
********  
At the corner of club...  
  
Quatre: About five girls follow him Hey! You! Don't go down there! Let go of my wallet!!! Of no! Not there... hey watch the... okay... that's not right... Hey! Let go! ^Grabs wallet from girl^  
  
Quatre: Whew! Thought I just lost my thousand dollars. Hey! Where did the hundred go!  
  
Girl #1: I don't have it... I'm innocent! giggles and smiles and slowly loosens up top  
  
Quatre: turns other way Give back the hundred...   
  
Girl#2: Hey! Don't look at me!!! Heck! Don't look at me! Slap!  
  
Quatre: blush has a dent in cheek ^Looks down and cover eyes...^  
  
********  
Other side of club... at the bar...  
  
Duo: Hey! You! I want a whisky.  
  
Bar Tender: Okay.  
  
Duo: (Turns around... sees pretty girl... on table dancing... clothes still on...) Hmmm... how much money do I have... ^Looks in wallet... three dollars^ Hey! You! I'll pay you three dollars to take the top off!  
  
WACK!!!  
  
Duo: ^Looks behind, sees Wufei^  
  
Wufei: Injustice!!!! Women should not be paid to show their... same girl walks by 0_o eee...  
  
Duo: Hey! Wuman! Get it on!!!!! Get jiggy with it!  
  
Trowa: Don't you think he's a little short? The girl's wearing high hills and I don't think Wufei could reach...  
  
Wufei: In... this is... eee... injustice... am I in hell already!  
  
Duo: Actually to other men, this is heaven to them...  
  
Trowa and Wufei: -_-;;  
  
************  
  
A couple feet away...  
  
Bar Tender: Hey kid! Want a drink?  
  
Heero: uh... okay... Looks to the right of him... sees Duo and Wufei fighting... nothing new... looks to left of him... sees Relena o_o... drinking!  
  
Relena: Bar tender! I want another drink!  
  
Bar tender: I think you had enough.  
  
Relena: Damn it! I am Relena Peacecraft! I demand to have another drink.  
  
Bar tender: I see that! You've been saying your name ever since... gets grabbed by the collar  
  
Relena: Damn it! Just give me another drink.  
  
Bar tender: Okay! Okay! say's in mind: wonder if she's going to get drunk at the point where she's going to wear a thong... still can't imagine her a thong... *shiver*  
Scary thought   
  
Heero: Relena?  
  
Relena: turns around Heero!  
  
Bar tender: says in mind: poor kid... she's never going to give up on him...  
  
Relena: I am Relena Peacecraft!  
  
Bar tender: says in mind: wonder what she's demanding...  
  
Heero: Er... I know that... what are you doing in this... party... strip... strip club?   
  
Bar tender: say in mind: still can't imagine Relena in a thong...  
  
Relena: ^takes off jacket to reveal a pink tank top and pink spandex^  
  
Heero: Are you mocking me?!  
  
Relena: Looky me! I'm Heero Yaoi!  
  
Bar tender: hmmm... maybe she is going to wear a thong...  
  
Heero: ^takes gun, loads it... ^  
  
To be continued...  
  
Narrator: Is Relena going to die? Is Heero going to kill her... stay tuned for yet another 'full of shit' episode! And remember Spice it up!  
  
  
  
  
  
NOTE: If it's too boring type in the review... 'shit' alright? So when I know it's boring... I'll revise it... like I said... this is a rough draft... I KNOW! I'M LOOSING MY TOUCH... I CAN'T BE HUMORUS ANYMORE!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
*MALLET! this program was a dedication to mallets~hashbrown  
  
Be happy! Drink Coke! if you don't know what this means... you will later... I 4got to thank 'Coke' (not the soda) the author about the Mario thing...  
  



	2. Default Chapter Title

Author's Note: Well... here's my second chapter to the fan fiction... it seems a little boring don't you? It's slow also... Since some people like it... I decided to leave my rough draft alone and work on the second chapter... well enjoy...  
  
12/9/00- revised again, sort of in a way... plot did not change just some parts...  
  
PLEASE HAVE A SICK MIND BEFORE READING!!!!!!  
  
READ CHAPTER ONE FIRST!!!!!!  
______________________________  
Narrator: Previously on 'Spice it up':  
  
Relena: Looky me! I'm Heero Yaoi!  
  
Bar tender: hmmm... maybe she is going to wear a thong...  
  
Heero: ^takes gun, loads it... ^  
  
  
  
  
ANOTHER FULL OF SHIT ESPISODE: PART 2  
  
Relena: Oh Heero! Won't you take me with you! *jumps on table and does a so called 'Victory Dance,' which does not seem right...*  
  
Heero: What the hell happen to you... *holding gun with trembling hands*   
  
Relena: Nothing! Could we go in a room and do the mattress mambo?  
  
Heero: Seriously... if I had a choice between a goat and you, I'd rather have sex with the goat!  
  
Bar tender: Oooo... cold...  
  
Relena: Oh really?! So you'll score with me later?  
  
Heero: -_- er... I didn't really mean that... I meant...  
  
Relena: It's a okay. You don't need to hide anything from me!  
  
Bar tender: where is that camera when you need it... I need to hurry or else I'll loose my chance to take a picture of Relena in a thong... *shiver* Scary...  
  
**************************************  
  
Duo: Hey Trowa! Where's Wufei?  
  
Trowa: I have no idea... think he's... oh... crap... I saw him go in a room.  
  
Duo: EH?!!!! Wha!!! #_#)  
  
Trowa: You don't think he... No... he... too traditional... he would never...  
  
Duo: All right! Wufei!!! I didn't know he had it in him! Wonder if he's having a time of his life...  
  
Trowa: -_-;;  
  
Duo: Hey! Look at that hot chick on the table... nice... hehe... wonder if she's under aged...  
  
Trowa: @_@!!! *Runs away in the corner of club... without duo noticing* ^Look! It's a window! Yes! Thank god! I found an exit!^  
  
Suddenly bars from every corner block the walls of the club...  
  
Window: All windows activating security system! Sector one activated, Sector two activated, Sector three activated, system turn on full power!  
  
Trowa: Noooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   
  
Duo: *turns attention away from 'hot chick.'* Trowa! Relax! Here have a drink!  
  
Trowa: How can I relax when I'm on a brink of loosing my virginity!  
  
Duo: You know, I liked it better when you were quit... How do you know your going to loose your virginity? There's no prove!  
  
Trowa: First of all... *before Trowa could finish his words, Duo got a huge mug of beer and poured it down his throat.*  
  
Duo: There! Feel better!  
  
Trowa: hehe... yeah... oooo... look at that girl there *waves and smiles at the girl, with a short t-shirt*  
  
Duo: Er... you did drink before, right?  
  
Trowa: Nope! That was my first drink ever in my whole entire life! Be right back... I need to do some unfinished business with a girl... I mean a... uh... some stuff...  
  
Duo: Trowa... are you okay...   
  
Trowa: O... I'm fine... like I said... need to... *gets off his stool and walk towards girl...*  
  
Duo: ^O... shit... he's drunk... o well! If he looses his virginity it's not my fault!^   
  
  
  
******************************************  
  
In a dark room...  
  
Wufei: ^Where am I? It's so cold^ *he moved a little, eyes still closed, to find a blanket to stop him from shivering.*  
  
Wufei: ^A BLANKET?!!^ *He opened his eyes to find himself on a bed...* ^A BED?!!!!^ *He turned to his right! Three girls, completely naked laid beside him* ^What the hell?!^ *He turned to his left... two more girls laid beside him...*  
  
Wufei: *He started to panic...*  
  
Girl #3: Wufei... what's wrong... you where all right about five minutes ago!  
  
Girl #4: You mean... he was great... I never knew a boy your age that could make five girls make noise that loud.  
  
Girl #5: Maybe because he's Chinese. Maybe that's why he's so good.  
  
Wufei: I don't believe this! Injustice!!!!! I would never do such things! I already have a wife!  
  
Girl #6: But do you have children yet?  
  
Wufei: uh... -_- *Jumped out of bed, grabbed his... clothing.... Right when he touched the knob of the door... *  
  
A cage falls on him!  
  
Door: Security activated!  
  
Naked Girls: Your not leaving until we have some more fun!  
  
Wufei: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
********************************  
  
Quatre: Let go of me!  
  
Girl #1: Nope!  
  
Quatre: Hey! I'm just a poor guy who just wants to get out of here!  
  
Girl #1: No you aren't! First of all... you rich!  
  
Quatre: Stop touching me there! Are you going to strip me down until you get all my money?  
  
Girl #2: Not bad of a plan! Not bad at all!  
  
Quatre: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Girl#2: BWHAHAHA! I GOT YOUR *BEEP* NOW!!!!  
  
Quatre: Oh, that is very undignified! LEGGO!  
  
Girl#1: ^need to think distraction...^ *sneak in back pocket*  
  
Quatre: Eh!!!! What the *beep* are you doing to my ***! *suddenly thinks of it*  
  
Girl#8: Hey! Hands off the wallet!  
  
Quatre: O thank you for saving me! Ah! Let go! What have I done to deserve this? I'm a nice person. I've been nice!  
  
All girls: *pushes up against him trying to grab wallet*   
  
Quatre: Dear God help me!   
  
****************************************  
  
  
Heero: Uh... Relena... you're getting a little too close... stop touching my spandex...  
  
Relena: Why? It makes me feel safe and warm! Oooo... those muscles!   
  
Heero: ^Need to kill her... before she gets even more closer to my 'inner base.'^  
  
Bar tender: ^Kill her Heero... kill her... you can do it!^  
  
Heero: ^I have to kill her... I can't... no... I have to...^ *Takes his gun and points it at Relena's head* Relena... let go... uh... my spandex or I'll shoot.  
  
Relena: Okay! ^She lets go of his spandex and grabs something else.^  
  
Heero: Relena! Damn it! Here I am! Ready to kill you and you're here touching my ****  
  
Relena: But it's fun touching your ****! *Relena pushed him up a counter... now there was no escape...*   
  
Heero: ^That's it! I can't kill her. If I kill her, she's probably going to haunt me anyway...^ *he drops he's gun!* Could we get this over with?  
  
Relena: O goody! We're going to have sex! Why aren't you complaining like before!  
  
Heero: *He closed his eyes, not wanting to see what Relena would do to him... He could hear her breath against his...* ^Someone help me!^   
  
  
Narrator: To be continued...  
  
  
  
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Author's Note: If it's boring type in 'Shit' in the review so I can know... so I'll revise it...  
  
Mallet!  
  
  



	3. Default Chapter Title

Author's Note: Here's Part three to 'Spice it up!' Hope you like it. The next chapter will be the last. This is a short chapter, a least shorter than the other chapters! Enjoy this shit!  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Key  
= = action  
* = monologue (thinking to oneself)  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
  
Requirments  
=READ PART 1 AND 2 FIRST   
=RELENA LOVERS, PLEASE GET OUT!!!!!=  
=HAVE A REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, SICK TWISTED MIND=  
=NOT PERMITTED FOR ANYONE UNDERAGE=  
=CONTAINS VIOLENCE  
=CONTAINS YAOI (MALE/MALE RELATIONS)=  
  
___________________________  
  
  
  
Previously on Spice it up!:  
  
Relena: O goody! We're going to have sex! Why aren't you complaining like before!  
  
Heero: *He closed his eyes, not wanting to see what Relena would do to him... He could hear her breath against his...* ^Someone help me!^  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~)~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Another Full of Shit episode! Spice it up Part 3  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~)~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
BANG!!!!!!!!  
  
Heero: *what the Hell was that?*  
  
The body that was once groping him soon went limp.  
  
Heero: =opened his eyes.= Relena?  
  
Relena: =Blood was leaking from her head, staining her blond hair, turning it a dirty brown, like Duo's. Flesh was coming from the back; her eyes were now empty.=  
  
Bar tender: Bull's eye! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!! I KILLED HER!!!!!!!  
  
Heero: =Looks sadly at the dead Relena...=  
  
Bar tender: Hey kid, you're all right, right? I did the right thing right. You're not going to kill me right?  
  
Heero: =a smirk suddenly formed in his mouth that suddenly turned to an evil laughter= HELL YA!!! SHE'S DEAD!!!!!!!! YAHOOOOO!!!!!! NO MORE RELENA!!!!!!!! BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!! FREEDOM!!!!!! *suddenly drops the dead corpse*  
  
Bar tender: That's the spirit lad!  
  
Heero: =Jumps on the table, which was a table away from where Duo was sitting.=  
  
  
  
Bar tender: *ah... my mission is complete... hehe...* =Looks at the dead corpse laying on the floor, as everyone that once inhabitanted that area, now gone. Only blood stained the floor= *DAMN!!! Her corpse is scaring all the costumers away! Well... better clean her up=  
  
=Takes a mop, a butcher knife and a bucket. The Bar tender suddenly chops Relena's leg, tigh, etc... you get the point... and puts it in the bucket and carries it to the men's bathroom, trying to put all of Relena in the trash can. Now that nearly everything was in the trash, except for her head. The Bar tender tried to jam it in the trash, but it just wouldn't go in=  
  
*ARG!!! IT WON'T FIT! Think... what can I do...*   
  
A Toilet suddenly flushed.  
  
*Bingo!!!! That's such a good idea! I'll flush her head down the toilet!*  
  
=He happily put the head down the toilet. Flushed... BLAK!!!=  
  
DAMN!!!! IT'S CLOGGED!!!! COULD SOMEONE CALL A PLUMBER?  
  
Mario: Did you call me?  
  
Bar tender: Mario! Yeah. I need help un clogging this toilet!  
  
Mario: =Looks at the toilet. Inspecting it.= *sigh* Watcha do?   
  
Bar tender: I tried flushing bitch/girl/Queen of the world down this toilet.  
  
Mario: O... ah... kay! Okey dokey!!! I'll get to work! =pulls out his plunger, and starts trying to pull Relena's head out. It was sure clogged.=  
  
Mario: This girl must have big head. Must he very annoying and stubborn, no?   
  
~~~~~~10 minutes later~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Mario: =Flushes toilet= Okey dokey!!! Me done with job.  
  
Bar tender: Thank you Mario!  
  
  
  
  
Back the Heero's scene.  
  
Duo: =Gets out of his seat and walks to the table next door= Uh... Heero. What are you doing? You're scaring all the girls away from me... =looks at the girls that was once was his 'company,' crowding around Heero= ...and they're following you... DAMN.  
  
Heero: SHE'S DEAD!!!!!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!  
  
Duo: Who? Tell me Hee-chan! Who you kill? DID YOU FINALLY KILL RELENA 'Piece of Crap?' DID YOU? DID YOU? *If Relena is dead... then I could have Heero ~all~ to myself* =he smirked at the thought=  
  
Heero: =Saturated with happiness in the death of Relena 'Piece of Crap,' he suddenly danced wildly, taking off his green tank top, revealing his gloriously bare chest.=  
  
Duo: =Mouth dropped open drooling slightly, as he saw Heero half naked, not to mention, Heero only had his black spandex on= *I hope he doesn't wear any underwear... Holy Shit... I'm actually thinking about this stuff... stop... must think ~straight~ hmmm... wonder how he sounds when I ~make~ him... arg! Wonder how Hilde would act...*  
  
Girl#8: hmm... he's sooo cute!  
  
Girl#9: hehe... *drool*   
  
All the other fourteen girls: *drool*  
  
Duo: *Need to think of something else... oh ya! I'll sing the Chow Mein Song! Number 5, ain't nothing but a beef stake, Number 4 it comes with a bean cake, Number 3 I don't want the rice that's long and stray, I want my Heero Mein! Ahhhhh!!!! Shit!!!! Not again! Arg!!! Forget it. I don't care! I'm going to...* HEY HEERO!!!! =takes his wallet out= I REALLY HOPE YOU DON'T WEAR UNDERWEAR CUZ I'LL PAY YOU 20 DOLLARS IF YOU TAKE YOUR SPANDEX OFF!!!  
  
Narrator: What will happen? Will Heero Really be butt naked? Will Duo get killed? What about the other Gundam Wing Pilots? Will Operation V ever be complete? Will they ever escape?  
  
To be continued...  
  
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What you think? Flame me all you want!!!! I have warned you once!!!!! But if you want to flame me, I could always use a couple laughs...   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



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